Rewind to August 2013, my husband and I decided to complete our family and start 'trying' for our 3rd child. We already had 2 boys aged 7 and 5. For me as long as I remembered, I always wanted a girl long before I even got married. I dreamt of a little girl that I can dress up and who would be my best friend for life. I am very close to my mum so I wanted to experience that kind of bond with my own child. That first month we found out we were pregnant, I was elated, so happy and secretly praying and hoping for my baby girl. I had already told my work colleagues that I was pregnant, not even waiting for the 12 weeks safe period to pass. I figured I already had 2 kids and I was good. Nothing was going to happen. How wrong was I. The week after I found out I was pregnant I started to spot.
I started panicking thinking I was having a miscarriage. It was light spotting with no cramps. The next morning I went to the hospital and was referred to the early pregnancy unit. Blood tests were carried out and a scan was done. I was told from the scan that the pregnancy was an ectopic one and there was no way the baby would survive and I needed to go into surgery straight away to remove it as there is a risk to my life if the Fallopian tube burst. I was not offered the option of the drugs as when they measured the foetus it was measuring too big for the drug to take the proper effect. The only option was surgery and I was also told that there is a possibility they might have to remove my right Fallopian tube if it was badly damaged.
My husband was at home with the kids so what started with just a routine check to do a scan and establish why I was spotting quickly turned into me calling him to come to the hospital cause I was about to go in for an emergency operation. It was a crazy experience but thank God the operation went well but I lost my right Fallopian tube as they could not save it. The doctor came round to the ward after and told me that even with one tube I could still have another baby and not to worry.
I went home feeling so down, feeling all hope was lost. Mourning the baby that I was already looking forward to having, I took some time out of work to emotionally get over the loss and to physically heal from the operation. I was a wreck cause I still had pregnancy hormones running through my body. Can you imagine still having morning sickness and be no longer pregnant. I have an amazing husband who nursed me back to health and my awesome God who comforted me.
I finally went back to work and it was such a weird feeling. You can imagine people at work knowing you were pregnant and they now know what happened and there is this awkward silence at the printer station cause they don't know what to say. Well this soon passed and things started to get back to normal. 3 months later I was ready to try again. I was told by the doctor that once a woman has an ectopic pregnancy she had an increased risk of having another one. This did not deter me though, I was a woman on a mission.
In January 2014, we found out we were pregnant again. I was quietly overjoyed as I did not expect it to happen so soon especially since I only had one tube. This time around I did not tell anyone apart from my husband, my siblings and my parents. I was petrified the moment I found out, but I took it all to God and asked him to take control. 10 weeks into the pregnancy I started to spot and my heart sank. I could not believe it was happening again! I went to the hospital and a scan was carried out and I was told that the foetus was in fact in the uterus where it is meant to be. I breathed a sigh of relief. The sonographer could not tell me anymore and just said the doctor will examine the scan and talk to me about it in more detail.
I immediately sensed that something was not right. I saw the doctor and he explained to me that although the foetus was in the womb, the baby was measuring 2 weeks smaller than it was supposed to be. The 10 weeks foetus was measuring at 8 weeks. In addition there was a small sac of blood beside the gestational sac called a 'sub chronic heamatoma' and they mentioned that this could be nothing and could eventually go away or could be a sign of a threatened miscarriage. My heart sank and I cried, prayed, begged God for a miracle, but unfortunately a week later at 11 weeks the spotting was heavier and I went in for another scan and was told there was no heartbeat. My heart felt like it had been punched. I literally felt pain in my heart, I wept like a baby and was inconsolable. I went home prepared to let nature take its course. Two days later, I experienced the most painful experience of my life.
A week after, I went to the hospital to have a checkup with my doctor, to ensure all was well and a scan was performed just to check that my uterus was empty only to be told I still had remains and the best thing to do was to have a D and C. I was devastated, cause the last thing I wanted was another surgical procedure 6 months after I had my tube removed. I decided to be brave and scheduled the procedure as I just wanted to get it done and over with.
The operation went well thank God and I went home to recover. I took a week off work to heal physically and emotionally from my ordeal. You see in 6 months, I had lost 2 babies and I still had hormones running through my body. Needless to say I was a wreck. We had been advised by the doctor to wait a couple of months before trying again. My husband was done, he could not imagine going through anything like this again or seeing me in any more pain. He told me he did not want us to try again, that he was happy with our 2 gorgeous boys and could not bear to see me in any more pain. I had other plans though, you would think with everything that I had been through ,that I would not even entertain the thought in my head of trying again. But no, I was rearing to go, because my thought process was if at first you don't succeed pick yourself up and try again. Now don't get me wrong I was scared to death but I prayed and begged God for a miracle.
Five months passed by and we found out for the third time in 12 months that we were expecting again. It was mixed emotions as I was elated, scared and overwhelmed all at the same time. I became a serial knicker checker, scared to go to the toilet to see even the faintest sign of blood.
My twelfth (12 ) week scan felt like the longest eight (8) weeks of my life. I was hoping for the best but was being realistic all at the same time. The Sonographer put the wand on my tummy and was quiet for the first two minutes which felt like an hour. You could hear my heart beating out of my chest. She finally spoke and said yes I can see a baby in the womb so I was relieved. This was short lived, she went on to say the baby was in an awkward position and she was not able to do the measurements. She told me she was going to call in another Sonographer for another opinion. She came in looked at the screen and they both concluded that something was not right and the baby's spinal cord looked defective. At this point I was about to lose my mind. They referred me to a specialist midwife downstairs to have a chat about the next step.
I felt like a zombie because I was sure that this was a joke and someone was going to say 'got you'. Anyway, I saw the specialist midwife who advised that I would be referred to UCH in London where they would do a more detailed scan to establish if and what the problem was. This was on a Friday and my appointment was not till Monday. The weekend was a blur and finally Monday came and I was at the hospital in London. The scan was performed and thank God the baby was perfect, spine was prefect, measuring correctly and good heartbeat. I finally felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief.
To cut the long story short. My faith was tested throughout my pregnancy with additional scans that had to be done to determine if there were problems with baby's heart and blood flow through umbilical cord but all came back normal. To God be the glory, I gave birth to my precious baby girl on the 28th of April 2015. One of the best days of my life. You see I was already a mother to 2 boys that I love more than life but this girl I prayed for, I cried buckets for. The amounts of sleepless nights where I would wake up in the middle of the night and cry from the heartache of losing 2 babies in such a short space of time. God comforted me throughout and assured me that all will be well and in the end it really was.
Why am I sharing this testimony with you now you ask? Like I said when I started this long story. I am normally very shy and private but I experienced something about 2 months ago which blew my mind. I had a dream that I was talking to God and he was asking me 'Tope why have you not told the world the miracle I performed in your life?'. He said 'yes, you thank me and you praise me in private but you have not told the world about my miraculous work'. He asked me, 'are u ashamed of me?'. I replied 'no absolutely not Lord, I am just shy and don't want my business out there and fear how people will take it'. God said 'you see that is your problem, you worry too much about what people will say and that fear is why you are not pursuing that gift that I have given you'. I woke up and prayed and promised God that from that day I would sing his praises to anyone who will hear and tell them what a wonderful God I serve and that I would no longer live in fear and use that gift that he has given me. The God who makes the impossible happen. The God who comforted me during trying times, the God who blessed me with my beautiful angel who we named Ifeoluwa which means God's love because it really is the greatest love of all.
Okay, I have ranted on for far too long and taken up way too much of your time. I just want to encourage any one out there going through hard times, waiting on the Lord for something. I pray God grants you the desires of your heart. The wait is tough I know but it does not rain forever and eventually the storm will pass and you will see that beautiful rainbow and that golden sun will shine on you. Stay strong, pray pray pray and take all your troubles to God. Trust me he is a miracle worker and I am living proof. And finally NEVER GIVE UP.
It's my birthday today, I am grateful for the gift of life, overwhelmed with gratitude and thankful for my many blessings. Thankful for each and everyone of you as you are my friends after all even though we might not see each other physically.
God bless you all and if you got to the end of this then, I thank you for sticking with me right to the very end. Feel free to share this post as if it helps just one person then my job is done. Have a fabulous day xxx
Tope Cole
Thank you for going through a long read. The above testimony was posted and shared on Facebook a few weeks ago by Tope. One thing I have observed is that people have similar experiences but always different pathways and outcome. It's all because God in his loving kindness has different plans for each of us, so I encourage you to keep holding on till you get that breakthrough, God is with you every step of the way.
P:S
I have not updated my reflections page for a while, so please pardon me, will endeavor to do so soon.
Also, don't cover up what God has done in your life if you are meant to share it. Obey that still small voice within you.
Stay blessed.
I started panicking thinking I was having a miscarriage. It was light spotting with no cramps. The next morning I went to the hospital and was referred to the early pregnancy unit. Blood tests were carried out and a scan was done. I was told from the scan that the pregnancy was an ectopic one and there was no way the baby would survive and I needed to go into surgery straight away to remove it as there is a risk to my life if the Fallopian tube burst. I was not offered the option of the drugs as when they measured the foetus it was measuring too big for the drug to take the proper effect. The only option was surgery and I was also told that there is a possibility they might have to remove my right Fallopian tube if it was badly damaged.
My husband was at home with the kids so what started with just a routine check to do a scan and establish why I was spotting quickly turned into me calling him to come to the hospital cause I was about to go in for an emergency operation. It was a crazy experience but thank God the operation went well but I lost my right Fallopian tube as they could not save it. The doctor came round to the ward after and told me that even with one tube I could still have another baby and not to worry.
I went home feeling so down, feeling all hope was lost. Mourning the baby that I was already looking forward to having, I took some time out of work to emotionally get over the loss and to physically heal from the operation. I was a wreck cause I still had pregnancy hormones running through my body. Can you imagine still having morning sickness and be no longer pregnant. I have an amazing husband who nursed me back to health and my awesome God who comforted me.
I finally went back to work and it was such a weird feeling. You can imagine people at work knowing you were pregnant and they now know what happened and there is this awkward silence at the printer station cause they don't know what to say. Well this soon passed and things started to get back to normal. 3 months later I was ready to try again. I was told by the doctor that once a woman has an ectopic pregnancy she had an increased risk of having another one. This did not deter me though, I was a woman on a mission.
In January 2014, we found out we were pregnant again. I was quietly overjoyed as I did not expect it to happen so soon especially since I only had one tube. This time around I did not tell anyone apart from my husband, my siblings and my parents. I was petrified the moment I found out, but I took it all to God and asked him to take control. 10 weeks into the pregnancy I started to spot and my heart sank. I could not believe it was happening again! I went to the hospital and a scan was carried out and I was told that the foetus was in fact in the uterus where it is meant to be. I breathed a sigh of relief. The sonographer could not tell me anymore and just said the doctor will examine the scan and talk to me about it in more detail.
I immediately sensed that something was not right. I saw the doctor and he explained to me that although the foetus was in the womb, the baby was measuring 2 weeks smaller than it was supposed to be. The 10 weeks foetus was measuring at 8 weeks. In addition there was a small sac of blood beside the gestational sac called a 'sub chronic heamatoma' and they mentioned that this could be nothing and could eventually go away or could be a sign of a threatened miscarriage. My heart sank and I cried, prayed, begged God for a miracle, but unfortunately a week later at 11 weeks the spotting was heavier and I went in for another scan and was told there was no heartbeat. My heart felt like it had been punched. I literally felt pain in my heart, I wept like a baby and was inconsolable. I went home prepared to let nature take its course. Two days later, I experienced the most painful experience of my life.
A week after, I went to the hospital to have a checkup with my doctor, to ensure all was well and a scan was performed just to check that my uterus was empty only to be told I still had remains and the best thing to do was to have a D and C. I was devastated, cause the last thing I wanted was another surgical procedure 6 months after I had my tube removed. I decided to be brave and scheduled the procedure as I just wanted to get it done and over with.
The operation went well thank God and I went home to recover. I took a week off work to heal physically and emotionally from my ordeal. You see in 6 months, I had lost 2 babies and I still had hormones running through my body. Needless to say I was a wreck. We had been advised by the doctor to wait a couple of months before trying again. My husband was done, he could not imagine going through anything like this again or seeing me in any more pain. He told me he did not want us to try again, that he was happy with our 2 gorgeous boys and could not bear to see me in any more pain. I had other plans though, you would think with everything that I had been through ,that I would not even entertain the thought in my head of trying again. But no, I was rearing to go, because my thought process was if at first you don't succeed pick yourself up and try again. Now don't get me wrong I was scared to death but I prayed and begged God for a miracle.
Five months passed by and we found out for the third time in 12 months that we were expecting again. It was mixed emotions as I was elated, scared and overwhelmed all at the same time. I became a serial knicker checker, scared to go to the toilet to see even the faintest sign of blood.
My twelfth (12 ) week scan felt like the longest eight (8) weeks of my life. I was hoping for the best but was being realistic all at the same time. The Sonographer put the wand on my tummy and was quiet for the first two minutes which felt like an hour. You could hear my heart beating out of my chest. She finally spoke and said yes I can see a baby in the womb so I was relieved. This was short lived, she went on to say the baby was in an awkward position and she was not able to do the measurements. She told me she was going to call in another Sonographer for another opinion. She came in looked at the screen and they both concluded that something was not right and the baby's spinal cord looked defective. At this point I was about to lose my mind. They referred me to a specialist midwife downstairs to have a chat about the next step.
I felt like a zombie because I was sure that this was a joke and someone was going to say 'got you'. Anyway, I saw the specialist midwife who advised that I would be referred to UCH in London where they would do a more detailed scan to establish if and what the problem was. This was on a Friday and my appointment was not till Monday. The weekend was a blur and finally Monday came and I was at the hospital in London. The scan was performed and thank God the baby was perfect, spine was prefect, measuring correctly and good heartbeat. I finally felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief.
To cut the long story short. My faith was tested throughout my pregnancy with additional scans that had to be done to determine if there were problems with baby's heart and blood flow through umbilical cord but all came back normal. To God be the glory, I gave birth to my precious baby girl on the 28th of April 2015. One of the best days of my life. You see I was already a mother to 2 boys that I love more than life but this girl I prayed for, I cried buckets for. The amounts of sleepless nights where I would wake up in the middle of the night and cry from the heartache of losing 2 babies in such a short space of time. God comforted me throughout and assured me that all will be well and in the end it really was.
Why am I sharing this testimony with you now you ask? Like I said when I started this long story. I am normally very shy and private but I experienced something about 2 months ago which blew my mind. I had a dream that I was talking to God and he was asking me 'Tope why have you not told the world the miracle I performed in your life?'. He said 'yes, you thank me and you praise me in private but you have not told the world about my miraculous work'. He asked me, 'are u ashamed of me?'. I replied 'no absolutely not Lord, I am just shy and don't want my business out there and fear how people will take it'. God said 'you see that is your problem, you worry too much about what people will say and that fear is why you are not pursuing that gift that I have given you'. I woke up and prayed and promised God that from that day I would sing his praises to anyone who will hear and tell them what a wonderful God I serve and that I would no longer live in fear and use that gift that he has given me. The God who makes the impossible happen. The God who comforted me during trying times, the God who blessed me with my beautiful angel who we named Ifeoluwa which means God's love because it really is the greatest love of all.
Okay, I have ranted on for far too long and taken up way too much of your time. I just want to encourage any one out there going through hard times, waiting on the Lord for something. I pray God grants you the desires of your heart. The wait is tough I know but it does not rain forever and eventually the storm will pass and you will see that beautiful rainbow and that golden sun will shine on you. Stay strong, pray pray pray and take all your troubles to God. Trust me he is a miracle worker and I am living proof. And finally NEVER GIVE UP.
It's my birthday today, I am grateful for the gift of life, overwhelmed with gratitude and thankful for my many blessings. Thankful for each and everyone of you as you are my friends after all even though we might not see each other physically.
God bless you all and if you got to the end of this then, I thank you for sticking with me right to the very end. Feel free to share this post as if it helps just one person then my job is done. Have a fabulous day xxx
Tope Cole
Thank you for going through a long read. The above testimony was posted and shared on Facebook a few weeks ago by Tope. One thing I have observed is that people have similar experiences but always different pathways and outcome. It's all because God in his loving kindness has different plans for each of us, so I encourage you to keep holding on till you get that breakthrough, God is with you every step of the way.
P:S
I have not updated my reflections page for a while, so please pardon me, will endeavor to do so soon.
Also, don't cover up what God has done in your life if you are meant to share it. Obey that still small voice within you.
Stay blessed.
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